Communicating with Parents
Stephen Womack
Think about the ways in which you receive news. Do you sit down every morning and read the morning paper? Perhaps you watch the evening news each night. You may check your favorite news website on occasion. You may wait and get all your information second-hand through friends, family, and colleagues. There is not a single mode of communication to which we all adhere.
It is important to note that there is not a perfect mode of classroom communication for everyone. You have to discover what works best for you, your classroom, your students, and parents of your students. Ideally, you will be able to establish multiple modes of communication to have the greatest opportunity to reach others. The ways in which parents and students receive information are diverse. The following list represents some suggestions for communication but is by no means an exhaustive list. Get creative with your mode of communication.
Most teachers grew-up in a time when e-mail was non-existent. For better or worse, we are now in an immediate-information age. Individuals can receive information immediate written communication while camping in a remote location. This makes communicating easier for teachers, parents, and students. There is often not enough time to schedule face-to-face dialogue with parents; e-mail can offer fast communication lines. In addition, e-mail will allow you to have a written record of discussions.
E-mail groups are relatively easy to establish. By setting up an e-mail group you can send a message to an entire class, all your classes, or any specialized group you establish.
Website
There are multiple benefits to maintaining a webpage. It provides a place for absent students to get missed assignments, provides a place for parents to keep updated on your class, provides a place to showcase your class, and provides support for students in your class. Webpages can be as simple as information about the class and the best way to contact the teacher, or a webpage can contain an updated assignment calendar and links to handouts.
Newsletter
A weekly or monthly newsletter that contains classroom information such as assignments and due dates, student highlights, announcements, or other information can be very beneficial. A key to the success of a newsletter is establishing a routine (it is sent home every Friday, or the first of each month, etc…)
Personal Phone Call
The problem with personal phone calls for general information is the amount of time it takes to contact individuals. In addition, a great deal of time is often spent playing phone-tag. The great thing is many individuals now have cell phones. It is easier to find individuals. The benefit of a phone call is they are very personal and you can have appropriate tone that is difficult in written communication. If you maintain phone communication, be sure to keep a log of conversations.
Phone Message
A phone message left on the school answering system can provide daily assignment updates and announcements. Again, the key to the success of a phone message is consistency. It needs to be updated each day.
Formal Conferences
Formal conferences are scheduled in advance and usually offer the greatest chance for communicating specific information. You have time to plan and gather pertinent information; parents have time to plan questions. Time constraints may limit to amount of time and frequency of conversations.
Informal Conferences
Parents will drop-in unannounced or stop you at the grocery or mall; use this for pleasant exchanges or minor things but save the heavy stuff for a more formal setting—when you are in control.
You might want to consider scheduling a time for informal conferences. Send a message to parents that you will be at KozyBean (or some other location) from 4:00 – 6:00 if they want to drop by for a discussion. This provides the opportunity to share information in an informal relaxed location. Sometimes parents just want the opportunity to get to know you. If no one comes you can use the time to read or grade papers. If someone drops by, you may get lucky, and have them buy your meal.
Assignment Calendars
A weekly or monthly calendar posted in the classroom and distributed to each student can be very beneficial. They provide record that students knew of assignments and also allow parents to keep track of classroom occurrences. If you choose to maintain a calendar, it needs to be clear to parents and students that the calendar can change due to unforeseen circumstances.
Cheesy, yes, but very effective in setting up a positive exchange between teacher and parent, and perhaps alleviating tension in later meetings when the tone is not quite as positive (this could be done on teacher website)
Get books and websites: www.Amazon.com –type in Parent-Teacher Communication and get of 350 sources
Parent-Teacher
Conference
Comments from FHS Teachers
Franklin High School usually has at least two formally planned school-wide parent-teacher conferences during the year. These are usually divided into 15 minute time slots so that many parents may have the opportunity to speak personally with the teacher. In addition to the school-wide conferences, there is often the necessity for individual conferences within the year. The following comments were prepared with the input of multiple individuals in the fall of 2004 to offer helpful advice to teachers when conducting conferences.
The participants in creating this advice were: Charmaine Briggs, Bonita Davis, Cec DeKraai, Willie Dickerson, Hugh Inman, Judy Lifsey, Artie Tuttle, Leigh Anne Webb, and Stephen Womack. Ron Heady provided the framework for the questions.
How should you “set up” for the parent conference?
Take a deep breath and smile. Shake the parent’s hand when he or she arrives. Kindness always puts a parent at ease and stops an attack in its tracks.
The atmosphere is important to some degree. The first aspect of the atmosphere is created by the teacher. The teacher should be dressed professionally and greet the parents in a friendly manner upon arrival.
The atmosphere created by the room is also important. Your room should be as neat and attractive as possible. A cluttered desk is a sign to some (fair or not) that you are not organized and therefore not "on the ball." It should, however, also reflect the atmosphere the student normally experiences.
Physically having a desk between the participants can create an atmosphere of “us and them;” consider sitting in student desks or have a chair available that may be placed beside the teacher desk instead of in front of it. The environment should be one that fosters a sense of cooperation.
Have a copy of the student's progress report printed. The data should be as up-to-date as possible. It might be convenient to have copies printed for each participant. If there is a work example that you want to discuss - an essay, test, etc. - have that available too. Samples of ideal work could help the parent see the level their child should strive for. Parents are often like students in many ways and they need to see what was expected in a particular assignment to see what was lacking.
Mentally think about what you know of this student's home life. Is this a parent/step-parent situation? Is there tension that you have been made aware of by the student or another source. It might be inappropriate to discuss this with at the conference, but it might help you have an understanding of how to approach the situation.
Some teachers like to ask that both the parents and students attend the conference. This helps to make sure that everyone is on the same page; it may also help clarify any misconceptions that may have been created by a student.
Have a notebook ready so that you may record the essence of the conversation. By all means, date your notes.
If the conference has time limitations, then please respect this fact. Have your schedule close at hand so that you know the limitations. If you have a parent who wishes to continue the conversation, remind them of the time and arrange another meeting when you don’t have people scheduled to see you.
What do you want to talk about in the conference?
It may be best to let the parents begin the conversation. Parents often need to be heard. A conference in which the teacher just listens can sometimes be very productive. Consider starting the conference with a guiding question: How is ____ doing this year? Is there anything you can tell me that will help me teach your child? What questions do you have? Is there anything I need to know that might help or hinder the student’s progress? Is there anything occurring outside of school that may be helping or hindering progress?
When responding to parents, try to respond to them as honestly and openly as you can. Say at least one positive thing about the student even if there is really nothing good to say about the student's performance in class; often a positive character statement allows the parent to smile before discussing the constructive commentary. Try to address specific problems and offer suggestions for improvement so that the parent is more in tune with the student's work habits, judgment (or lack thereof), turning in late assignments, etc… Focus on study skills. Let the parent know how your classroom procedures help students.
Are there “messages” from your principal or from your school you wish to convey?
School rules and expectations and class rules and expectations should hopefully be clear before the conference. Keep a copy of the handbook and class rules and expectations nearby just in case. Parents need to know that hard work and adherence to the rules is expected by everyone from the administration down to the teachers.
If messages have been issued by the administration specifically for conferences, pass that along.
What do parents want to hear in the conference?
Parents want to know how they can help their child improve. Is their child behaving in class? Is their child socially appropriate in class? Does their child participate in class? What are you doing to help the student progress?
Try to encourage and provide positive feedback no matter how bleak the situation may be. If a child is doing splendidly, try to say how they could still improve. That does not mean that you avoid shortcomings to paint a false rosy picture, but everyone should see the silver lining.
It is important to direct the conversation so that the parent knows it is the child who should be making the changes.
If they do not already know, current and upcoming projects, outside reading assignments, general current unit of study, etc… are always of interest to the parent.
What topics should you avoid in the conference?
Try not to mention the “class average” either in your discussion or on your progress report that you give to parents. Parents sometime use the class average against you or as an excuse or justification for their child’s grade.
Do not talk about how the behavior or academic abilities of other students may be interfering with a child’s learning. If you must talk about a specific situation, do not mention names. Remember that you are the classroom manager. If the student is being distracted, the parent will want to know what measures you are taking to correct the problem. Personal issues should be avoided--stick to the academics--unless they are directly affecting the student's performance.
Ultimately the conference is about their child in your class. Steer away from any talk about problems with other classes or with the administration.
What should you do if a parent “attacks”?
Unfortunately, there are some parents bent on attacking no matter what. Sometimes parents are so frustrated with their kids that they end up taking it out on the teacher. The best options when this happens is to have all of your information prepared and in order. It is possible they are attacking from lack of knowledge or miscommunication. If you are prepared, you can sometimes stop the attack.
If you can control the situation, remain calm and let them have their say. Sometimes a parent just needs to vent and have you hear it. Do not escalate a situation by counter-attacking. After all, the parent may have a point at times. Sometimes the teacher is wrong and needs to have a shortcoming pointed out. In those cases, admit you can do better and pledge to do better.
Try to empathize with their frustration, but be firm with policies that are appropriate or out of your control (school or department policies that are out of your control).
If being calm does not soothe the parent, and you feel you have lost control, then reschedule the meeting for a time when an administrator may attend. Do not continue with the conference under hostile circumstances. If a parent is hostile, leave the classroom and go straight to the office or call the office.
Should you give the parent something to take with them?
The parents usually want and appreciate a progress report. Giving them something with specifics in writing can help avoid any mistakes in understanding what was discussed. If you take notes, you might agree to send them a copy later if the notes are pertinent to each party. You may also want to give them something with contact information available – email, phone extension, website, etc…
Parents want to leave with the hope that they can help their child improve.
Other?
Parent conferences provide a time to create allies and classroom friends that can be utilized for years to come. When handled correctly, even the worst conferences can have benefit. One of the key things is to get everyone to realize that we all share academic ownership. The parents, students, teachers, administration, peers, and communities in which the student exists are part of the educational process. No one entity can be congratulated or blamed.
Additional information may be found at the National Education Association website: http://www.nea.org/parents/ptconf.html.
Video presentations regarding parent conferences may also be found on United Streaming, which may be accessed through the WCS website.
Communication Advice from Parents
1) What methods of communication do you find most useful in one-on-one communication with the teacher?
· E-mail is quick and easy since many parents are in front of the computer at some point during the day. To me it seems more intrusive to call a teacher – I like e-mail because a teacher can respond when it is convenient. It is very frustrating when a teacher will not respond to an e-mail.
· I find conferences to be great. They are about more than grades. I have discovered many interesting things about my children from conferences.
· Insert Tomlinson comment
· A regularly updated class website can help students and parents be forewarned of tasks to be accomplished and provide resources to help complete or enrich the tasks.
· I don’t check e-mail regularly, so a phone call is helpful to me. For important written work, I don’t mind a fax.
· Phone calls are difficult for me because they generally happen in the evening. I doubt there are many teachers who want to call parents in the evening, and for the active child we are often getting kids from point A to point B.
· There is a fine line between allowing students full responsibility for what needs to be done in class and making parents fully aware of the expectations. Open House provides a valuable opportunity for parents to get a feel for a teacher and his/her classroom expectations. However, since it is at the beginning of the year and you are slammed with six different teachers (more if you have multiple kids at a school), I feel periodic updates are necessary and valuable tools. I have a child who NEVER tells me when there is going to be a major exam. When [my child] does study [my child] does well. When [my child] doesn’t study [my child] bombs. Theoretically, [my child] should be responsible enough to study. Realistically, a periodic e-mail informing parents that something major is coming up benefits both the parent and the child (it keeps the grounding and yelling to a minimum).
· Many teachers do not update their website. They have a website, but don’t have ay information about their class on the site. Keep an updated website.
· Something regular like e-mail or a newsletter helps.
· One on one conversation is the best, but it is challenging and overwhelming for teachers to find time. School conference days are daunting as well due to the wait.
·
Posting
assignments and due dates on the website is very helpful. It does not have to
be extensive, but the basics give parents a starting point to ask their kids
questions.
2) What do you find to be the biggest challenge in communicating with teachers?
· When I don’t get a response to an e-mail it can be very frustrating. If the teacher prefers a different method of communication they can let me know. I don’t know how to interpret a lack of response.
· Teachers who do not respond to e-mail or phone calls are the most frustrating. I know that teachers are busy, but a quick response is better than no response.
· I believe it is difficult for the parent to understand the constraints/requirements that a teacher has. I also think that a parent feels that their child is entitled to “special” attention. For teachers who are not parents, an understanding of what it takes to run a home with a wholesome family environment would be helpful. It too is a demanding task. The same should be realized of teachers.
· Teachers need to be clear about their communication expectations.
· Teenagers are reluctant to share information about their academic prowess. Parents need information to help.
· It is very frustrating to not get any sort or response from a teacher.
· Teachers need to be clear about their expectations.
· I think the biggest challenge is addressing unpleasant topics where either or both parties can become defensive. Parents fear reprisal (whether conscious or unconscious) against the student. Conveying suggestions or constructive criticism without appearing to be on the attack is difficult.
· Not knowing the best way to communicate with a teacher. If teachers could tell parents how to best communicate with them would be helpful.
· I think the biggest challenge is knowing how many students teachers have to deal with. It is difficult to ask more of a good teacher when you know they are doing all they can. It is hard to know as a parent how much information is too much to impose on a teacher. It is nice to be asked questions.
3) What helpful advice regarding communication do you have to give to teachers?
· Keep the lines of communication open. If there is a problem (grades or otherwise) let the parent(s) know. Don’t expect students to come home and readily share bad news.
· Post something on the website to let parents know the best way to communicate with teachers.
· Parents want to hear about their students. As a parent, I feel that any teacher who initiates communication with me cares about my student. A parent who feels that a teacher cares will really stay in that teacher’s corner.
· Establishing lines of preferred communication at the beginning of the curriculum period is most helpful.
· Although their bodies have grown they are still kids on the inside and need to be treated as such.
· From our kids perspective all is well. We usually don’t know there is a problem until progress reports. A quick message might let us have a greater chance for success.
· Teachers need to take into account maturity levels and learning styles of children in their classrooms. That is not to say they have to cater materials to each individual child. They need to understand that while child A is a self-motivator who needs no guidance from a parent to succeed, child B may desperately need a liaison between the teacher and the student.
· Show concern no matter how trivial you may feel the parent’s issue is. It is very satisfying to get some sort of feedback from a teacher after a discussion has taken place; it makes a parent feel like the teacher is truly concerned.
· You can’t communicate too much (especially with parents of freshmen).
· How about telling parents that you’ll be at Starbucks or somewhere on a certain evening at a certain time period so they could chat. It would be informal and might be easier than a formal appointment during the workday.
· Parents are delighted to get information from teachers. It gives us something to ask our kids about. If you send e-mails, get as many e-mail addresses from an individual as possible. It is okay to get an e-mail at home and the office; it increases the chance of it being seen in a timely manner.