Few things in this world induce more moans of despair and laughter from the heart than the classic dad joke. Love ‘em or hate ‘em, they bring out the best and worst in humanity. Below is a list of dad jokes you (yes you) can share to make your friends A) regret their life choices that lead them to this point or B) curl up in a ball in a fit of laughter.
What’s brown and sticky?
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
You may think it’s because the “p” is silent, but it’s actually because they’re all dead.
Why did Snoop Dogg use an umbrella?
To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you. You have my Word.
I thought about going on an almond based diet, but decided not to because it’s just nuts.
Why are math books so sad?
Because of all their problems.
Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke?
He won the Nobel Prize.
I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
I really have to sell my vacuum cleaner.
It’s only gathering dust.
Do you wanna hear a joke about paper?
Oh, never mind it’s tear-able.